Humor for Adults
Who Can Handle
Adult Humor

— by Len Kennedy, Esq.


You told me I was apathetic,
But I didn’t care.
I lost my mind in Arizona —
Can’t remember where.

While drowning in your irony,
I cannot swim ashore.
You ask if I can stay awhile,
But then you slam the door.

You say I love myself too much —
I say I love myself and I love you.
(You know I love that big ol’ butt —
I know you love my average penis too.)

While drowning in your irony,
How can I swim ashore?
Why ask if I can stay awhile
When you’ll just slam the door?

Sometimes you think I’m such a bore,
Because I never dance.
Sometimes I wonder why you stay
When I take off my pants.

Sometimes I think you’re such a whore,
And you think I’m a schmuck.
Sometimes I’m right — sometimes you are . . .
Sometimes we’re both in luck.

While drowning in your irony,
How can I swim ashore?
You ask if I can stay awhile
Then slam the goddamn door.

We killed some time in Arizona —
Lost my mind down there.
We killed that mime who grabbed your ass —
And no one seemed to care. . . .

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Home | LenKen Photo Essay | Part I: Quips & Squibs | Part II: Intermezzo: Bad Poetry for Bad People | Part III: Weird Stories for Weird People | Addendum: The Slapdash Mishmash: A Legacy | Appendage: Short Essays on Long Topics | Preamble: A Brief History of Me | Preface: Freedom of Speech versus Freedom from Speech | Prelude: Maturity versus Immaturity | Prologue: Strength versus Weakness | Prolusion: The Period: Dickens Redux | Quips & Squibs | Universal Rules of Etiquette | A Writer and His Hookers | The Sadistic News Network | Books That Cause a Tingling Sensation in My Left Testicle | Alternative Uses for a Brick | A Calm and Rational Analyis of Winter | Odium | Drivel, Blather, Prattle, and Twaddle | Bad Pick-Up Lines | Bilge, Dreck, Tripe, and Schlock for Schlemiels, Schlimazels, Schmucks, and Schmegegges | Arizona | Chickens | If You Make a Girl Snicker, She May Let You Lick Her | A Lesbian’s Lament | THC | Ode to the Paperboy | Sesquipedalian Love Song | Interview with a Petulant Old Shrew | Interview with a Persnickety, Pugnacious Pedant | A Freak Like Me | I Have Weird Dreams | A Long, Hard Look at Gun Control | Readings in the Cassandra Times | The Infamous Stickflipper | Keeping a Kennedy Tradition Alive | The Stalker | Lucy in the Sky with Dysentery | Beyond God & Devil | Pile of Nothing | How to Quit Smoking and Die Anyway | Epilogue: Quirky Colloquy: A Play in One Act | An Introduction to the Slapdash Mishmash | Poppycock? | Der Klusturfuk der Katzenjammer | The Cowardice of One’s Convictions: Cognitive Dissonance Theory in a Nutshell | Controlling Your Emotions before They Control You: Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy in a Nutshell | Why We Should Be Dying to Live Rather than Living to Die | About the Author | Sign My Guestbook