Humor for Adults
Who Can Handle
Adult Humor

— by Len Kennedy, Esq.

Books That Cause
a Tingling Sensation
in My Left Testicle

The following are titles of some of the more interesting books I’ve seen on lately:

Humor Is the Battery in the Personal Vibrator of Life

Some Kennedys Are Born Drunks, Others Have Drunkenness Thrust Upon Them — by Len Kennedy

Quitting Smoking Isn’t as Easy as Quitting Sex

How to Not Quit Smoking but Who Cares?

How to Quit Smoking without Taking Up an Even Worse Habit, Like Committing Suicide

101 Creative Ways to Commit Suicide

Introducing Bastology: The Scientific Study of Bastards and Bastardly Behavior

The Little Bastard That Could: An Inspirational Tale for Little Wankers

Antisocial Recluses, Unite!

We’re All Gonna Die — So Cheer Up!  Humor for the Happy-Go-Lucky Pessimist

Girls Who Play Hard to Get Won’t Get Gotten: A Contemporary Guide to Dating — by William Jefferson Clinton

Blondes May Have More Fun, but Brunettes Tend to Have More Active Brain Cells

Brother, Can You Spare Some Crack?  The Unexpurgated Autobiography of Former Washington, D.C., Mayor Marion Barry

“Sleep Deprivation Is Not Conducive to Optimal Cognitive Functioning” . . . and Other Common Southern Expressions

“Well, Lick My Ass and Call Me a Lollipop!” . . . and Other Old Sayings I Just Made Up — by Vox Dementia1

Take the “A” Train — and Stick It Up Your Ass: The Rantings of a Disgruntled Former Jazz Fan

The Little Engine That Didn’t Give a Damn Whether It Did or Not

Yeah, Whatever: In Defense of Indifference

Gripping Survival Stories about Idiotic Schmucks Whom You Neither Know nor Care About

Why I’m Not a Lesbian — by Len Kennedy

How Do You Know I’m Not a Bearded Lady with a Deep Voice and a Six-Inch Clitoris? — by Len Kennedy

The Most Bestest Book on Grammer EVAR!  A More Briefer Reference Manual for They Whom Ain’t Got No Time for Nuthin’

Them There Rednecks Done Been Fixin’ to Boycott Grammar

We Gonna Learn You How to Talk Real Good — by the Alabama Bored of Education

Humor for the Sophisticated Redneck — by Uncle Booger, Esq.

Hey, I Ain’t Got No Problem with Niggers — by “Former” Ku Klux Klansman David Duke

Men Who Like to Stick Fruits, Vegetables, and Kitchen Appliances Up Their Asses . . . and the Women Who Love Them

Peacocks & Pussy Willows: Ambiguously Dirty Stories for Nature Lovers

One Swallow Does Not a Girlfriend Make

Man Gets Killed by Swarm of Lactating Locusts and Lives!!! . . . and Other Typical Tabloid Tales

The Pros and Cons of “Offshore Drilling”: A Cost/Benefit Analysis of Adultery

¡Viva la Vulva, Viva la Verga!  Dining Out “Below the Equator”

“Would You Like Some ‘Tartar Sauce’ on That ‘Fish’” . . . and Other Less-than-Stellar Pick-Up Lines

Free “Sausage” for Anyone with a “Friction Cooker”: A Book of Sexual Innuendoes (Quotation Marks Sold Separately)

A Different Kind of Liquid Protein Diet: Yeah, You Know What I’m Talkin’ About — by Dick Smegma

Love and Lust Go Hand in Pants: A Psychological Analysis of Romance — by Ludwig vas Deferens

I Left My Gerbil in San Francisco

Damn — I Got a Fat Ass!  The Autobiography of Your Mother

The Manly Frenchman Who Loved to Bathe and Wasn’t the Least Bit Pretentious . . . and Other Short Stories That Prove, Once and for All, Truth Is Nowhere Near as Strange as Fiction

Zen and the Art of Domestic Violence

Zen and the Art of Drinking Pee

Zen and the Art of Writing Books about the Art of Zen

Len Buddhism: The Sound of One Hand Bitch-Slapping the Bourgeoisie — by Len Kennedy

Striving for Mediocrity: A Primer on Democracy

How to Juggle Fat, Flatulent Midgets While Masturbating Monkeys Fling Poop at You

A Directory of Kathys Who Are Nicknamed Kat — Not Just Because That’s the First Three Letters of Their Name . . . but Because They Lick Themselves

Why Only Spank the Naughty? — by William Jefferson Clinton

How to Be as Happy as a Masochist with His Balls in a Vise

The Little Engine That Liked Other Little Engines of the Same Gender

“Ouch — My Nuts!”  Why Prisoners Rarely Have Sex in the Missionary Position

Who’s That Comin’ in My Back Door?

Please Don’t Confuse Acute Angina with a Cute Mangina: A Reference Manual for Gay Doctors

“Well, I’ll Be a Monkey’s Fuckhole” . . . and Other Old Midwestern Sayings I Just Made Up — by Vox Dementia

For an Older Lady, Your Mother’s Got an Awful Lot of Spunk (Dripping Down Her Chin)

Everything a Kennedy Says Is a Lie — by Len Kennedy

23,672 Things You Should Do to Simplify Your Life

How to Waste Years of Your Life Losing Over a Hundred Pounds Only to Find That You’re Butt Ugly

Take My Wife — and Fuck Her in the Ass: The Dark Side of Henny Youngman

How to Enjoy Life to the Fullest Despite Being Deaf2

Bullshit, Dogshit, Horseshit, and Hogshit: A Brief History of Politics — by Ex–Vice President Al Gore

If You Are What You Eat, the French Must Be Eating an Awful Lot of Pussy

If Ignorance Is Truly Bliss, Why Aren’t More Americans Happy?

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star — Who the Fuck Just Stole My Car?  The Suppressed Manuscripts of Dr. Seuss

Neo-Nietzschean Quasi-Existentialism for Dummies

The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Being a Fucking Moron (Now with Fewer Big Words)

One Man’s Frozen Sperm Is Another Man’s Low-Carb Ice Cream: An Informal Introduction to Friedrich Nietzsche’s Perspectivism

Premature Ejaculation: Sexual Dysfunction or Good Time Management — You Decide

Just Because Alcohol Is a Good Social Lubricant, That Doesn’t Mean It Will Inevitably Lead to Other, More “Sinful,” Forms of Lubrication: A Critique of the Slippery Slope Fallacy

Just Because a Guy’s an Ass and a Fucker, That Doesn’t Mean He’s an Assfucker: An Informal Look at Informal Logic and Logical Fallacies

Just Because a Maxi Pad Has Wings, That Doesn’t Mean It Can Fly: Still More Logical Fallacies

Just Because a Guy Has His Dick in a Jar of Chunky Peanut Butter, That Doesn’t Mean He’s Fuckin’ Nuts: See, Kids — Logic Can Be Fun!

Why Just Keep Abreast of Things When You Can Keep a Vagina?3

Never Underestimate the Ubiquity of Schadenfreude: A Cross-Cultural Exploration into Why We Take a Mischievous Delight in the Misfortunes of Others — by NASCAR Legend Dick Trickle

How to Be Erudite without Being Obfuscatory: A Prolegomenon to Penning Prolix Prose

Gods of a Feather Die Together: A Brief History of Greek Mythology

Slaughtering Sacred Cows for Fun and Profit — by Len Kennedy

Allah Must Be Spinning in His Grave — by Salman Rushdie

An Alternative Way to Mount a Horse: A Beginner’s Guide to Bestiality

Fun for the Whole Fucking Family: The Lighter Side of Incest — by Anonymous Amish Guy

Halftime: A Guide to the World’s Sexiest Double- and Quadruple-Amputees

“Mama la Verga del Diablo, Pendejo” . . . and Other Common Latin-American Greetings

“All Y’all Junkfuckin’ Rat-Rapers Can Suck My Dirty Fuckstick” . . . and Other Common Southern Greetings

“Don’t Fuck My Ass and Tell Me Yer Checkin’ My Plumbin’” . . . and Other Old Southern Expressions I Just Made Up — by Vox Dementia

“If You Can’t Take the Heat, Go Suck Satan’s Pussy, You Pasty-Faced Pigfucker” . . . and Other Fun Cliché Reformations

Mr. Redundant-Guy-Who-Always-Repeats-Himself’s Guide to Having Sex and Fucking — by Mr. Redundant-Guy-Who-Always-Repeats-Himself

The Show Isn’t Over Till My Mother Sings — by You

God Loves You Unconditionally — Unless, of Course, You’re a Gay Homosexual Faggot-Ass Queer — by Pat Robertson

How to Blow Shit Up and Kill People: Improvised Munitions for Children

Good, Clean Jokes for Dull, Boring Folks: Humor for the Weak and the Stupid

I’m Sure Book Reviewers Love Their Families and Wouldn’t Want Anything Bad to Happen to Them


  1. Vox Dementia is one of the many pseudonyms I felt compelled to use — for the vast majority of the hundreds of books I’ve written — since we Kennedys seem to have a bad habit of getting assassinated. [back]
  2. Only available on audiocassette. [back]
  3. Don’t bother trying to figure this one out.  It doesn’t make any sense.  And neither does this chicken. [back]

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Home | LenKen Photo Essay | Part I: Quips & Squibs | Part II: Intermezzo: Bad Poetry for Bad People | Part III: Weird Stories for Weird People | Addendum: The Slapdash Mishmash: A Legacy | Appendage: Short Essays on Long Topics | Preamble: A Brief History of Me | Preface: Freedom of Speech versus Freedom from Speech | Prelude: Maturity versus Immaturity | Prologue: Strength versus Weakness | Prolusion: The Period: Dickens Redux | Quips & Squibs | Universal Rules of Etiquette | A Writer and His Hookers | The Sadistic News Network | Books That Cause a Tingling Sensation in My Left Testicle | Alternative Uses for a Brick | A Calm and Rational Analyis of Winter | Odium | Drivel, Blather, Prattle, and Twaddle | Bad Pick-Up Lines | Bilge, Dreck, Tripe, and Schlock for Schlemiels, Schlimazels, Schmucks, and Schmegegges | Arizona | Chickens | If You Make a Girl Snicker, She May Let You Lick Her | A Lesbian’s Lament | THC | Ode to the Paperboy | Sesquipedalian Love Song | Interview with a Petulant Old Shrew | Interview with a Persnickety, Pugnacious Pedant | A Freak Like Me | I Have Weird Dreams | A Long, Hard Look at Gun Control | Readings in the Cassandra Times | The Infamous Stickflipper | Keeping a Kennedy Tradition Alive | The Stalker | Lucy in the Sky with Dysentery | Beyond God & Devil | Pile of Nothing | How to Quit Smoking and Die Anyway | Epilogue: Quirky Colloquy: A Play in One Act | An Introduction to the Slapdash Mishmash | Poppycock? | Der Klusturfuk der Katzenjammer | The Cowardice of One’s Convictions: Cognitive Dissonance Theory in a Nutshell | Controlling Your Emotions before They Control You: Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy in a Nutshell | Why We Should Be Dying to Live Rather than Living to Die | About the Author | Sign My Guestbook