Humor for Adults
Who Can Handle
Adult Humor

— by Len Kennedy, Esq.

That crazy cracker’s woman
Has an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny
Cute ’n’ fuzzy little kitty

I knew a man from Washington
Who gave up politics
And wound up selling all his stuff
And even suckin’ dicks.

I met him in a restaurant
That had no ambience —
No good, no bad, no in between —
Which made no fuckin’ sense.

He asked if he could buy me lunch.
I said that I just ate.
He then gave me a puzzled look,
Which quickly turned to hate.

He threw his penis at my face,
And so I had to duck,
And then he threw his scrotum sac,
So I said, “What the fuck?”

He threw the fight for fifty bucks
And even sold his ass
To guys named Frank who fucked him
In a bag of broken glass.

He’s tried to change his jaded ways
(Whatever that shit means).
He’s tried to change his underwear
But kind of likes the stains.

He’s tried to change a dollar bill
At various sperm banks —
He’s done a lot of stupid shit . . .
He’s done a lot of Franks.

I told him he was wasting life
And wasting all his time.
(I told him lots of other things,
But most of them don’t rhyme.)

I still don’t know the cracker’s name —
But I sure know his wife . . .
And — something else I know for sure —
Her pussy’s changed my life.

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Home | LenKen Photo Essay | Part I: Quips & Squibs | Part II: Intermezzo: Bad Poetry for Bad People | Part III: Weird Stories for Weird People | Addendum: The Slapdash Mishmash: A Legacy | Appendage: Short Essays on Long Topics | Preamble: A Brief History of Me | Preface: Freedom of Speech versus Freedom from Speech | Prelude: Maturity versus Immaturity | Prologue: Strength versus Weakness | Prolusion: The Period: Dickens Redux | Quips & Squibs | Universal Rules of Etiquette | A Writer and His Hookers | The Sadistic News Network | Books That Cause a Tingling Sensation in My Left Testicle | Alternative Uses for a Brick | A Calm and Rational Analyis of Winter | Odium | Drivel, Blather, Prattle, and Twaddle | Bad Pick-Up Lines | Bilge, Dreck, Tripe, and Schlock for Schlemiels, Schlimazels, Schmucks, and Schmegegges | Arizona | Chickens | If You Make a Girl Snicker, She May Let You Lick Her | A Lesbian’s Lament | THC | Ode to the Paperboy | Sesquipedalian Love Song | Interview with a Petulant Old Shrew | Interview with a Persnickety, Pugnacious Pedant | A Freak Like Me | I Have Weird Dreams | A Long, Hard Look at Gun Control | Readings in the Cassandra Times | The Infamous Stickflipper | Keeping a Kennedy Tradition Alive | The Stalker | Lucy in the Sky with Dysentery | Beyond God & Devil | Pile of Nothing | How to Quit Smoking and Die Anyway | Epilogue: Quirky Colloquy: A Play in One Act | An Introduction to the Slapdash Mishmash | Poppycock? | Der Klusturfuk der Katzenjammer | The Cowardice of One’s Convictions: Cognitive Dissonance Theory in a Nutshell | Controlling Your Emotions before They Control You: Rational-Emotive Behavior Therapy in a Nutshell | Why We Should Be Dying to Live Rather than Living to Die | About the Author | Sign My Guestbook